This summer has been quite the wild ride. While my performance activities took a back seat, I've been busy focusing on mental and physical health a bit more. It's easy, especially with the heat and humidity, to just come home and crash after work. After feeling sluggish and irritable for several days at a time, I knew something had to change.
In late June, I came to terms with my sexuality, coming out of the closet, and living life more authentically. The decision wasn't easy, and having close relationships with friends who I knew wouldn't approve made the fear of coming out even more daunting. Much of my life, I taught myself to put a lot of emphasis on what others think of me. Of course, social media and other avenues only fueled that fire. After going through divorce (very amicable by the way!) and a lot of counseling, I came to understand the importance of knowing yourself and simply being ok in your own skin. It took a year to be comfortable with myself and, with my coming out announcement, I made a promise to myself and to others that I was going to live as authentically as possible. This process has provided a jumping board for becoming more confident in other parts of my life. My reaction to the support from my online post was honestly mixed. I didn't like all the attention, but felt comfortable knowing that many of my friends simply wanted what I wanted, which was simply for me to be ok being me.
Health is both mental and physical. Since I made some progress mentally, I wanted to begin seriously thinking about my physical health. I'm very much overweight and have struggled with it for a large chunk of my life. For too long, I've used not having a thyroid as an excuse for my large size. I'm not a very good listener when it comes to health advice, but I knew I should be doing more to take care of myself. Luckily, with the beautiful parks nearby and a supportive co-worker, I've started walking long distances a few times a week. The best part of the walk is a chance to talk about something besides work while enjoying the scenery. I've started tracking what I eat, and even though it's difficult to stay on track, I'm starting to feel better and a couple pounds down, a clear message to keep going.
These are the things I have to keep telling myself that I think can be applied to other parts of my life and might even be helpful to others:
In late June, I came to terms with my sexuality, coming out of the closet, and living life more authentically. The decision wasn't easy, and having close relationships with friends who I knew wouldn't approve made the fear of coming out even more daunting. Much of my life, I taught myself to put a lot of emphasis on what others think of me. Of course, social media and other avenues only fueled that fire. After going through divorce (very amicable by the way!) and a lot of counseling, I came to understand the importance of knowing yourself and simply being ok in your own skin. It took a year to be comfortable with myself and, with my coming out announcement, I made a promise to myself and to others that I was going to live as authentically as possible. This process has provided a jumping board for becoming more confident in other parts of my life. My reaction to the support from my online post was honestly mixed. I didn't like all the attention, but felt comfortable knowing that many of my friends simply wanted what I wanted, which was simply for me to be ok being me.
Health is both mental and physical. Since I made some progress mentally, I wanted to begin seriously thinking about my physical health. I'm very much overweight and have struggled with it for a large chunk of my life. For too long, I've used not having a thyroid as an excuse for my large size. I'm not a very good listener when it comes to health advice, but I knew I should be doing more to take care of myself. Luckily, with the beautiful parks nearby and a supportive co-worker, I've started walking long distances a few times a week. The best part of the walk is a chance to talk about something besides work while enjoying the scenery. I've started tracking what I eat, and even though it's difficult to stay on track, I'm starting to feel better and a couple pounds down, a clear message to keep going.
These are the things I have to keep telling myself that I think can be applied to other parts of my life and might even be helpful to others:
- Slow and steady wins the race. I won't lose weight quickly and trying to do so won't get me very far. Small habit changes and the will to just start are key.
- Utilize your support system and know when to respectfully block out advice that simply doesn't work for you. Information is widely available and it's important to be able to sift through it all for the most applicable info.
- People change and it takes time for others to adjust. If you make a radical announcement, don't be surprised if others are taken aback. Give them time and distance to become ok with the idea that after the dust settles, you are still you.
- Learn to be authentic. It's easy to project what you want others to see, but internal conflicts arise if what's being projected goes against what you are feeling or thinking. Your friends and colleagues will appreciate your honesty and you'll be able move forward and begin focusing on other important things.